Dear Daughters

You are being raised into a world of choices and opportunity. Opportunities with choices and choices with opportunities. The problem is the world expects certain things from you. The world wants to compartmentalize you and restrict you, but it also wants to see you soar and succeed.

Why?

Because the world has no idea who it is or what it stands for. It is everyone and it stands for everything. It is full of questions with contradictory answers. It hates and it loves. It gives and it takes. So my daughters, rule number one of your life is to not chase the world.

If it must do anything … let it chase you.

There are many other rules you will learn within the Art of Being a Woman and I’d like to warn you ahead of time of the ones you do not have to follow.

1. The Girly Girl
Over the years the idea of being a “Girl” who is in fact girly has somehow grown disdainful. Most women do not endeavor to be viewed as “The Girly Girl”. I do not rightfully know how this came into place, but I dislike it. As I grew up, most of the girls around me strove to be known as  “Tom Boys”. They didn’t like being associated as a weak, ultra feminine, delicate “Girly Girl”. They wanted to be cool with the boys, play sports and get dirty. They felt that losing their femininity made them more powerful. And that my sweet daughters is just not right.

What I want you to know is that you can get dirty, play sports, be aggressive and tough all the while wearing a dress with pink nails. Your femininity is the most beautiful thing about you. Being a girl isn’t a bad thing. It’s the BEST thing. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you graceful. It doesn’t make you dumb, it makes you compassionate. It doesn’t mean you can’t achieve anything your heart desires. Do not let the idea of being beautiful, delicate, graceful, feminine or any other concept of womanliness detour you in life. Let it empower you. Being a woman is a gift. And yes, I will teach you how to change a tire in three inch heels–I do not raise helpless women–but if somewhere along the road you find a man who wants to do it for you, you let him.

2. Slutty is Sexy
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Sex appeal, being sexy, being desired does not come with DD boobs in a crop top or your butt cheeks squeezed into a mini skirt. Confidence is sexy even if you’re in sweatpants three sizes too big. Knowledge is sexy as long as you’re not flaunting it. Flaunting anything is not sexy, it’s a demand for attention. And you do not demand attention. You are given attention without having to ask. Respect is sexy. Kindness is sexy. Being you is sexy. And to the right man, being you will always be sexy. No. matter. what.

3. Biting Your Tongue
You are being raised by a mother who has a large mouth. My lack of self-control growing up got me into trouble many times, but it also kept me out of trouble more times than I could count. Men will try to quiet you. Women too. I will not. I will try and teach you how to control it. How to use it wisely. But more so I will teach you how to voice your opinions, voice your self, so that no one questions who you are. So that no man would consider you a toy to be played with. No woman a tool for her manipulations. That in the darkest moments of your life, in the times when you feel there is no way out, you will feel the words within you, the boldness of your self pour out and not be contained. That you feel safety in using your voice at all times. You have not been given a spirit of timidity and I want to see you soar.

4. Beauty is Everything
You are beautiful. Beyond my wildest dreams you are more beautiful than I could ever have hoped for. But be wary of beauty. The power. The pain. The fickleness of it all. The world has made sport of hunting even the prettiest of eagles. You, even in your innocence and youth, will not be made an exception.

Be wary of the world dear daughters. It only wants to take.

xoxo, mommy

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300…

So apparently one of the many side effects of pregnancy is crazy dreams. And I have to admit I have woken up several times with the most random people in my dreams. People I haven’t spoken to since Jr. High and other people whom I have never met and I always asked myself how they got in my head. Well a few nights ago was no exception. I think since I was near my due date and I had that fear factor of birthing and everything I began having dreams to boost my confidence. Well this is the craziness that I dreamed….

If you have never watched the movie 300 then you probably won’t get this, but I encourage you to watch this trailer of the movie (fyi the movie is rated R and is definitely racy, but its great if you can get past that). The trailer will give you an idea of the music that was playing inside my head during my dream and one of the exact scenes I dreamed of was in that trailer. It wasn’t an overly long dream, but basically there is one scene where King Leonidas’s wife is responding to a messenger that was sent on behalf of King Xerxes. The messenger wanted to know why Greek woman had influence/control over Greek men. (At this point in the movie King Leonidas was asking his wife what he should/shouldn’t do in response to the message sent from Xerxes). And Leonidas’s wife responded to the messenger with a simple “Only Spartan women give birth to Spartan men”. In essence saying that Greek men wouldn’t exist without Greek woman to birth them so they see each other as equals where in most other cultures women were held below men and were not used for counsel in any matter.

So basically in my head I was chanting “Spartan Woman give birth to Spartan Men” over and over again in my dream. And then following that I dreamed about the scene (its in the trailer) where King Leonidas looks at his wife (during the conversation with the messenger) and she gives him a nod. He then proceeds to kick the messenger in slow motion to this really awesome rock song and he goes flying in the air and falls into this tunnel to his death. This was King Leonidas telling King Xerxes you can go fly a kite because they won’t submit to slavery. (**killing a messenger was like an abomination since he was just delivering the ‘message’ so that was a big no no).

Anyhow, after that I woke up and I had the theme music in my head and I couldn’t stop replaying the words “Spartan Woman give birth to Spartan Men” over and over. I found it hilarious. I told Hector about my dream and his response… “Do you think your having a boy?” I about died. I said no our daughter is going to be a GIRL, however I apparently think role playing as a Greek Queen during Labor and chanting the words “Spartan Woman give birth to Spartan Men” will make labor easier for me. (maybe I will even dye my hair black and wear a Grecian robe and have a banner above my hospital bed that says “Prepare for Glory” – see picture above)

At the very least this will give me something amusing to think about when our daughter does decide to get this Labor going. And who knows maybe saying those words will help me. Although I am pretty sure I am a “White Woman giving birth to a Half White/Half Latin baby girl”, but for some reason that doesn’t have the same powerful ring to it.

Oh well 🙂

**p.s. the real quote is actually “Only spartan women give birth to real men”, but in my head I said Spartan Men so I went with what I actually dreamed. And just so I don’t get a bunch of comments from people correcting me… Yes, I am aware that isn’t the real quote, but just go with it k.